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Tiger Woods vs. Stevie Wonder!
At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.
Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything.
"When I tee off, " the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."
Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they play a round.
When Tiger agrees, Stevie asks, "How about if we play for $100,000?"
Tiger insists he couldn't possibly play him for money because of his sight handicap.
But Stevie argues and badgers Tiger until Tiger finally relents and says, "OK, it's your money... when do you want to play?"
Stevie replies, "I'll play on any NIGHT you choose!"
(Added: Fri Dec 13 2002 Hits: 4 Rating: 0.00 Votes: 0) Rate It
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Tiger Woods vs. Stevie Wonder!
At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.
Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything.
"When I tee off, " the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."
Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they play a round.
When Tiger agrees, Stevie asks, "How about if we play for $100,000?"
Tiger insists he couldn't possibly play him for money because of his sight handicap.
But Stevie argues and badgers Tiger until Tiger finally relents and says, "OK, it's your money... when do you want to play?"
Stevie replies, "I'll play on any NIGHT you choose!"
(Added: Fri Dec 13 2002 Hits: 4 Rating: 0.00 Votes: 0) Rate It
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Top Ten Tyson Jokes
NO. 10
Tyson already has his next fight lined up, with Lorena Bobbitt. Winner eats all.
NO. 9
This gives new meaning to "box lunch."
NO. 8
Reporter: "Evander, what did you think when Tyson bit off your ear?" Holyfield: "What?"
NO. 7
Spock-vs.-Tyson bout hastily canceled - John Corl, Rochester, N.Y.
NO. 6
What did Mike Tyson say to Van Gogh? "You gonna eat that?"
NO. 5
Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson computer? It has two bytes and no memory
NO. 4
Next bout: Tyson vs. Hannibal Lecter, with Julia Child to referee. To be held in Hungary. Billed as, "The snackfest in Budapest."
NO. 3
How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica? Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears. Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
NO. 2
Slogans for Tys * The T * Da * * Ear-Reconcilable Differences
NO. 1
When interviewed after the fight, Tyson's first remarks were that "it tasted like chicken."
(Added: Sat Feb 01 2003 Hits: 3 Rating: 0.00 Votes: 0) Rate It
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Tyson Excuses!
The top 10 reasons for Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear:
10. Got a little carried away after seeing "Face/Off"
9. Really wanted to win first prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos"
8. Like this doesn't happen every year in the Masters
7. Whenever Moe bites Curly's ear, it's hilarious!
6. Has to do this kind of thing to compensate for the fact that he talks like Melanie Griffith
5. I guess you've never heard of a little thing called "strategy"
4. Ears is tasty
3. It was self-defense -- he wouldn't stop punching me!
2. "Disqualified" sounds better than "got his ass kicked all over the ring"
1. He ran out of gum
(Added: Fri Dec 13 2002 Hits: 4 Rating: 0.00 Votes: 0) Rate It
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Tyson Excuses!
The top 10 reasons for Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear:
10. Got a little carried away after seeing "Face/Off"
9. Really wanted to win first prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos"
8. Like this doesn't happen every year in the Masters
7. Whenever Moe bites Curly's ear, it's hilarious!
6. Has to do this kind of thing to compensate for the fact that he talks like Melanie Griffith
5. I guess you've never heard of a little thing called "strategy"
4. Ears is tasty
3. It was self-defense -- he wouldn't stop punching me!
2. "Disqualified" sounds better than "got his ass kicked all over the ring"
1. He ran out of gum
(Added: Fri Dec 13 2002 Hits: 4 Rating: 0.00 Votes: 0) Rate It
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Tyson Excuses!
The top 10 reasons for Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear:
10. Got a little carried away after seeing "Face/Off"
9. Really wanted to win first prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos"
8. Like this doesn't happen every year in the Masters
7. Whenever Moe bites Curly's ear, it's hilarious!
6. Has to do this kind of thing to compensate for the fact that he talks like Melanie Griffith
5. I guess you've never heard of a little thing called "strategy"
4. Ears is tasty
3. It was self-defense -- he wouldn't stop punching me!
2. "Disqualified" sounds better than "got his ass kicked all over the ring"
1. He ran out of gum
(Added: Fri Dec 13 2002 Hits: 3 Rating: 1.00 Votes: 1) Rate It
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Vikings in a Dome.
Why do the Vikings play in a Dome?
Because even God can't stand to watch!
(Added: Fri Dec 13 2002 Hits: 4 Rating: 0.00 Votes: 0) Rate It
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Where Do We Play?
Pat Williams, general manager of the Orlando Magic, on his team's woeful record:
"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
(Added: Fri Dec 13 2002 Hits: 4 Rating: 0.00 Votes: 0) Rate It
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