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Getting out of a Speeding Ticket
Did you hear about the kid who was pulled over for speeding?
The cop got out of his car and the young man rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
(Added: Sun Feb 02 2003 Hits: 4 Rating: 5.00 Votes: 1) Rate It
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Going-ons in the Park
Once there were three boys sitting in the park, and a police officer came over to them, and told them they had to come with him to the court because there had been reports of something strange going on in the park.
So, when they got to the court, the judge asked the bailif to bring the first little boy in, and the judge asked him what he had seen. The little boy said "Well, sir, there were these two people, and they were fuckin". Judge said "Son, i dont' allow that kind of language in my court room, bailiff, take him out."
So, the judge called in the second little boy, and asked him what he had seen. Little boy said "Well, sir, there were these two people, and they were screwing." Judge again said "I don't allow that kind of language, take him out too."
So, then the judge called in the third little boy and asked the same question. The third little boy said "Well, sir, I saw ten toes up, ten toes down, two assholes goin round and round, six inches out, and six inches in, that's all i'm sayin so i don't get thrown in the pin."
(Added: Sun Feb 02 2003 Hits: 4 Rating: 9.00 Votes: 1) Rate It
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Got Any ID?
An Alabama State Trooper pulled over a pickup truck on I-20 and asked the driver, "Got any ID?"
The Alabama driver replied, "'bout what?"
(Added: Sun Feb 02 2003 Hits: 3 Rating: 1.00 Votes: 1) Rate It
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Green, Pink and Yellow
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence. He pulls him out and says, "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."
The Mexican man pleads with him, "No, noooo, Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The border patrol agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him, and says "OK, I'll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence."
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The three words are: green, pink and yellow. Now use them in one sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about two minutes, then says, "Hmmm, OK. The phone, it went green, green, green... I pink it up, and sez yellow?"
(Added: Sun Feb 02 2003 Hits: 3 Rating: 0.00 Votes: 0) Rate It
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Green, Pink and Yellow
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."
The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence".
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green,... I Pink it up, and sez Yellow?"
(Added: Sun Feb 02 2003 Hits: 3 Rating: 0.00 Votes: 0) Rate It
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